Pet Loss Support Group

Feelings of loneliness during these difficult times can be magnified when dealing with the the loss of a pet. Find comfort and compassion in Hawaiian Humane’s Virtual Pet Loss Support Group, facilitated by counselor Rosemarie Grigg. This session takes place via video conference on the first and third Tuesday of every month. Spaces are limited and open to the public and current attendees.

To RSVP and receive the link to join the private virtual meeting, please email Outreach@HawaiianHumane.org.

 

Saying Goodbye FAQ

  • Making the Decision & Additional Resources

    While euthanasia is never an easy decision, it takes a great deal of strength and love to accept that a pet can no longer live with dignity and without pain. The Hawaiian Humane Society offers compassionate end-of-life services and various cremation options, including a private cremation option with ashes returned.

    Find out more about Hawaiian Humane’s end of life services HERE or call us at (808)356-2285.

    Additional Resources

    • Oahu Pet Crematory – (808)371-7531
    • Valley of the Temples Pet Cemetery – (808)460-6914
    • Aloha ʻOe Pet Crematory (808) 725-7381
    • Home Burials: Some neighborhoods allow for home burial of your pet. Check with the City and County Zoning Department and your homeowner’s association.

  • Five Stages of Grief

    A better understanding of the stages of grief can help.

    Denial: This is a natural first reaction to the news that your pet has died or may die soon. You simply don’t want to believe it.

    Bargaining: This is perhaps the shortest of all stages of grief. You may promise to spend more time with your ailing pet, to shower your pet with gifts, if only he will stay with you a little longer.

    Anger: It evolves from the frustration that you are experiencing. Anger can turn inward and emerge as guilt.

    Depression: Tumultuous emotions can become sorrowful expression. Most people feel
    a lack of motivation and would like to withdraw from a busy, happy world. By taking a step back, you allow yourself time to heal and put your pet’s death in perspective.

    Acceptance: This is the final stage of grief, which allows you to take a fresh look at yourself and the world around you. In time, the pain will lessen and memories will evoke joy instead of tears. When you are able to focus on the happy moments of your pet’s life and not on death, you are well on your way.

    You can celebrate your pet’s life in so many ways.

    • Record happy memories in a journal or a letter.
    • Make a photo album or collage.
    • Plan a memorial service.
    • Volunteer to help animals.
    • Make a memorial contribution to the Hawaiian Humane Society.
  • Choose Adoption When the Time Is Right

    You may be tempted to get a new pet to help you cope with grief.
    Take the time to ensure that the whole family is ready for this and the commitment that comes with a new companion.
    Becoming a foster care provider for the Humane Society is a great way to welcome a pet into the family on a short-term basis.

    Make a life-changing difference by fostering through our
    Couch Crashers and Lap Crashers programs for dogs and cats! Fostering through Couch and Lap Crashers gives dogs and cats a break from the shelter, helps us to learn more about what they’re like in a home environment, and allows us to have the space and resources available for the animals that need us most. It’s so easy: all you have to do is visit our Mōʻiliʻili or Kosasa Family campuses and ask an Adoptions Representative about Couch or Lap Crashing an adoptable animal!
    The Hawaiian Humane Society’s foster care program – now offered at both our Mōʻiliʻili Campus and Kosasa Family Campus at Hoʻopili! – helps animals in need of temporary tender, loving care. Approximately 150 animals are in foster homes at any given time. Shelter animals in need of care may be too young, underweight, ill, injured, recovering from surgery and/or require more socialization before adoption.
  • What to Tell Children

    When a family pet dies, it may be your child’s first experience with death. The way you choose to explain this event can lay the foundation for your child’s view of death.

    • If your children do not see you sad or upset, they may fear that their own sorrow is unnatural.
    • Your child’s imagination of how your pet died may be far worse than reality. If you would like euthanasia or the cause of death explained by a professional, ask your veterinarian.
    • Children take many statements at face value. If they are told, “Buster went to sleep forever,” they may fear sleep.
    • Children often feel guilty for things they did not do. Explain that your pet’s death was not anyone’s fault and that your pet is no longer in pain.
    • Encourage your child to talk about fun times and happy memories of your pet.
  • Helpful Reading Materials

    For Children

    • Sad Isn’t Bad – A Good Guide for Kids Dealing With Loss, by Machaelene Mundy
    • Helping Children Cope with Separation and Loss, by Claudia Jewett Jarratt
    • Tigger and Friends, by Dennis Hamley
    • I Wish I Could Hold your Hand – A Child’s Guide to Grief & Loss, by Pat Palmer & Dianne O’Quinn Burke

    For Adults

    • Beyond Grief: A Guide for Recovering from the Death of a Loved One, by Carol Staudacher
    • Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet, by Moira Anderson Allen
    • Living Through Personal Crises, by Ann Kaiser Stearns
    • You Don’t Have to Suffer: A Handbook for Moving Beyond Life’s Crises, by Judy Tatlebaum
    • Cold Noses and the Pearly Gates: A Book of Hope For Those Who Have Lost a Dog, by Gary Kurz